Clearly I Don’t See Myself Upon That List

I was supposed to head over to the Fancy Dance Hall on Saturday morning to have two different coaching sessions – first an early session with Lord Dormamu, then afterward my normal session with Sir Steven. When I got to the Fancy Dance Hall, I found Sir Steven and the Princess working with a female student on some technical points. As I walked through the studio to find a place to change my shoes, both Sir Steven and the Princess waved to me and asked me what I was doing there so early. I guess Lord Dormamu had overscheduled himself that morning, and had told everyone he would be shifting around a bunch of his lessons (one of which was mine) so Sir Steven and the Princess didn’t expect to see me for a couple of hours yet. Apparently both Sparkledancer and I were the only ones who hadn’t gotten that message, since she showed up a few minutes later and had the same bewildered look on her face when I asked her if she had heard anything.

Luckily, Sir Steven had an open hour during the time when Sparkledancer and I would have otherwise been working with Lord Dormamu, so we decided to have that lesson first, and spent most of our time working on Waltz. One of the other instructors at the Fancy Dance Hall had just come back from a coffee and confection run as Sir Steven, Sparkledancer and I were getting started. He and the Princess took up residence on one of the couches in the back of the dance floor to enjoy the treats he had procured and have some idle conversation to pass the time while waiting for their next appointments.

Since the Fancy Dance Hall was otherwise quiet that morning, I could tell that they were playing peanut gallery in the back, watching everything we were doing as they conversed. Occasionally the Princess would yell out at me because she thought I did something wrong. I’m sure she thought she was helping, but after the second or third time she randomly interjected I started to get paranoid. I wasn’t entirely certain I was actually doing anything wrong – things felt right to me at the time – but I wasn’t going to question the Princess, so I just hung my head in shame and went back to repeat things even if Sir Steven didn’t tell me to. He would just laugh at me and let me finish before having us move on.

There were a few points I need to remember from that lesson. For one, Sir Steven said that our opening steps in the Waltz were starting to curve more than he would like for some reason. He told us to go back and think about how the starting steps in our Foxtrot routine move, since the opening Feather into a Reverse Turn travel in a pretty straight line. We wanted to make sure in the Waltz to also travel in a straight line until we had to rotate in the Natural Turn, which should fix the issue.

Another thing we were told to start focusing more practice time on was lowering and then starting all of our rotations from our standing leg as we push out. As we have gotten better about lowering at the appropriate time in the figures and driving straight forward out of steps, it has started to look more like our rotation is an afterthought, so Sir Steven wanted us to focus on doing our turning as we push out instead. He had Sparkledancer and I practice this by doing some normal rotating Natural and Reverse Turns in circles, both separate and then together. This was something we were told to spend a few minutes on when we were warming up in each of our practice sessions, so that we wouldn’t forget to do it when we danced normally.

After we finished up with Sir Steven and were writing up the paperwork for our lesson, Lord Dormamu emerged from his meeting and was ready to go. He came over to where we were all standing to ask us what we had just finished working on. Sir Steven was kind enough to fill him in on the specifics, and Lord Dormamu decided that since we had spent most of our time with Sir Steven covering the Waltz that he would continue to focus with us on Foxtrot for the time being. Because, you know, we had so much fun the last time we worked on Foxtrot, so he wasn’t ready to move on to anything else yet.

What we did that day was… kind of crazy. Things started off normal enough, with Lord Dormamu asking us to dance for him so that he could see how we’d been coming along in our practice since last time. Overall, he thought we were doing better, but we still didn’t show quite enough drive coming from our pelvic regions for his taste. Yup, that’s how I know things in my life have gotten weird – when I start talking about ‘driving from my pelvic region’ as if it’s the most normal thing in the world to discuss. Phrases like that seem to come up fairly frequently nowadays. Ballroom dancing is such a nutty world, isn’t it?

Sparkledancer was taken to task first on this point. She and Lord Dormamu started dancing together, and just left me behind in the corner for a good ten minutes or so. I tried to keep an eye on what they were doing to see if I could pick up any pointers, but they were moving all over the room and with the other people dancing on the floor I found it hard to keep up with what was going on. I gave up after a while and decided to pass the time instead by making jokes at the Princess and her student, since they were dancing near my corner. I didn’t get much information from Sparkledancer about what they were covering while they wandered off, but she did tell me later that Lord Dormamu told her that her pelvis was “too polite” and he wanted her to fix that by learning to drive it forward harder. I’m not sure that I could ever get away with telling a girl that. It must be nice to be a dance instructor.

Then it was my turn. On a positive note, Lord Dormamu told me that he thinks I have successfully reset the default position for my head, so now I can start looking to the left again. Hooray for small victories! However, lest we get too far into the celebrations, I was also told that I needed to really work on pushing everything from both my right side of my abdomen and from my pelvis as well. This is when I was asked to do something awkward and uncomfortable: Lord Dormamu wanted me to get myself into dance frame and then clasp my hands behind my back. Then I was to dance by driving forward from those two parts of my body as much as possible, which put a wicked curve in my back because I needed to counterbalance myself with my head. When he said I was doing things right, I felt like my chest was pointing up to the ceiling, as if I were going to do a pull-up. While that is a common feeling for me, I’ve never held that position while dancing before.

This was not a comfortable way to dance by any stretch of the imagination. That must mean that I was doing things correctly, right? At first I was just dancing while Lord Dormamu walked in front of me, pressing his hands down on my shoulders. Then I had to do it with Sparkledancer putting her hands on my shoulders, but the two of us were also expected to try to maintain body contact, so I was awkwardly driving my abdomen and pelvis into her while she was working on driving her no-longer-shy pelvis into me. Most of the figures were OK while dancing like this. Some of the figures that rotated got to be a little wild, but I would expect that any time I try dancing with someone without being able to lock our upper bodies in a consistent relative position.

We spent a good half-an-hour dancing like this, with Lord Dormamu having us fix little things on each repetition. For instance, one time through he wanted us to exaggerate our footwork on the Natural Weave. As he said, “judges are old, blind and stupid” so we would have to make every step that we did as visible as possible if we wanted to get good marks (yes that is actually a real quote from Lord Dormamu). At the end of our session, just before wrapping things up, Lord Dormamu hemmed and hawed for a while and told us that, against his better judgement, he was going to have us try to dance the routine in frame once. By the time he stopped us just before we had completed the short wall, he said that he was really surprised by how well we had done – he doesn’t usually expect his students to be able to apply everything so quickly. Hooray! Go team!

As you probably already guessed, we were told that we should add in this exercise during our practice. To clarify, I asked him whether we should be dancing in that hold with just Foxtrot right now, or should we practice all of our routines like that. He said for now we should use it on all the routines, then stopped himself and said we may not need it for Tango, but he wasn’t sure. He had us start our Tango routine for him once, stopped us after a few figures and said that he liked the way that our topline looked already, it was just our legs that needed to be fixed, so we wouldn’t have to try to dance Tango while in that awkward frame. So that means only four more things for the practice list instead of five. Sigh…

Monday night I headed out to Latin Technique class. Before class got started, Lord Junior and Miss Shortdress were sitting around and talking about how much they both loved Samba, so that is what we ended up working on that night. Nothing we did was all that crazy in reality – we started out with three Promenade and Counter Promenade Runs, going into three Natural Pivots that came out into a final Promenade Run. At the end of that we rotated to face our partners by doing one Volta Movement that we held for two beats, just for a change of pace from the frantic movements we had up to that point.

Next up were these fancy, curving alternately outward and inward Lock Steps. We held on to our partner with our right hand in her left, then did a Lock Step that would curve away about an eighth of a turn, then curved back on the next Lock Step so that we could be palm to palm with our partner using our free hand, then repeated that combination. After the second set of Lock Steps, we came together at the end for two Stationary Samba Walks to finish out the musical phrase.

Yesterday in Standard Technique class we looked at Foxtrot. The last class Lord Junior had made a point of talking with all of us about the competition he had been in recently, and how the biggest problem he dealt with was that all of his students wanted to move way too fast. Whether it was because of nerves or adrenaline or just not being able to hear the rhythm of the music, Lord Junior had been constantly holding his students back to keep them on time with him. That’s why in the previous week’s class we had worked on dancing through some basic Waltz figures reeeeeeeeaaaallllly slow. This week he had all of us work on the same thing in Foxtrot.

None of the figures we used were all that complicated. Starting with a prep step we did a Feather, a Reverse Turn with Feather Finish and a Three Step. As we progressed through class, we switched out the Three Step at the end for a Top Spin, just to make things more interesting. But we did things super slow… like 70% tempo was the fastest that we went for most of the class until right at the end when we were allowed to try things at full speed once to see if there was any improvement. Dancing that slowly wasn’t that bad for me, since my part of all the steps used is rather simple. The hardest part was helping the ladies to maintain their balance during the Heel Pull in the Reverse Turn, and keeping my dance partner from speeding up when we were traveling in a straight line. For some reason, most of the ladies in class wanted to accelerate when traveling straight, like in the Feather or Three Step.

Now, for the most troubling part of going to these classes this week was… Miss Shortdress. College is out for the summer, and she has been back with us the last two weeks for Standard Technique and Latin Technique classes. I didn’t think much about it when she first showed up two Wednesdays ago, since I hadn’t seen her in a while and it took me a lot longer than I care to admit to remember her name initially. I made mention of her a couple of times last summer, because people kept making fun of me for her acting like she had a crush on me. Well… I guess the long school year did not cause her to move on from that crush.

Monday night, since there wasn’t a gaggle of ladies to contend against when vying for my attention, Miss Shortdress was pouring it on pretty noticeably. She made a point of skipping ahead in the line of ladies to dance with me more than once during the hour. Before and after class she was hovering nearby and seemed to laugh extra hard at my jokes I was making when talking with people. And at one point when we were dancing together she called me “babe” unexpectedly. I think I faltered on my next step when I heard that. So that’s weird, right? I really don’t understand women…

Then on Wednesday night, there were a lot more women in class with us, so the things she was doing were at more of a distance. I heard from people who were standing near her in the line of ladies that Miss Shortdress was talking about me with one of her classmates. I guess she was once again laughing overly hard at some of the silly and quirky things I was doing, and somehow managed to drop into the conversation a line about how she thought I was ‘so cute.’ She did make a point of telling me directly at one point when we were about to dance together that she really liked how I got into frame… which normally would have been a nice compliment, but with everything else I’d seen and heard in classes this week made me feel uncomfortable.

I don’t know what to do about her. Hopefully this behavior doesn’t get any worse as the summer progresses. I can handle little things like these miniature flirtatious teases, but I don’t know what to do if her ‘amorous advances’ become any more blatant. I mean, I’ve got to be at least a dozen years older than her, so I definitely don’t want to accidentally encourage anything and get a reputation for being a creepy old man (skeevy, I believe, is the word I used for that last week). It also doesn’t seem worthwhile to say anything to her to confront the issue, since she will only be around until summer is over and then she’ll run off to college again and the problem will just disappear without any effort.

I bet if I didn’t dance she wouldn’t even consider me worth her time. Is dancing like my curse?

Anyway… so many things to do this weekend! On Saturday I have lessons with both Lord Dormamu and Sir Steven. Normally we try to have at least two weeks between our lessons with Lord Dormamu so that Sparkledancer and I can practice things, but he will be out of town the weekend of the 24th, so we moved things up. Saturday night I have a dance party to host, with some strange theme that I’m really not sure how to dress for. Sunday there is this high-level International Standard coach who will be hanging out at the Electric Dance Hall, and I signed up to have a lesson with him to get an outside opinion on all the things I’ve been working on with Lord Dormamu recently. At some point in all of that, I really hope I can go get all my hairs cut, since they have grown long enough to bother me. Will I manage to fit everything in?

Tune in next week to find out!

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